Categorized | Open Letters

Open letter to Spanish ladies

Posted on 28 February 2015 by American expat!

Dear Spanish ladies,

I know you aren’t always at the cutting edge of fashion, what with the mullet still a popular hairstyle, wearing leggings as pants, and confusing style with the sporting of designer labels – and I don’t expect you to be. But I felt particularly pressed to speak up about a recent disturbing trend that I have seen everywhere for over a year now–summer and winter–that has me cringing: Flesh color ed pantyhose worn under short shorts.

I get it ladies – you want to wear the shorts, but want some coverage and don’t want the lady parts hanging out. But nude hose are not flattering and are never fashionable. They look dated and crappy on the waitresses and chambermaids who are still forced to wear them, and they look dated and crappy on you. Just remind yourself when you reach for them in the sock drawer: You are not a cirque du soliel performer, you are not Lady GaGa and you are not a professional ballroom dancer. Put them back in the drawer.

I’m not saying don’t wear the shorts, put those things on! And if you want to hold the ladyparts in/hide the buttcheek (and I commend you for doing so) or just be warmer, then don some sheer colored tights or even patterned hose.

Just please, not the nude stockings.

Do you need more reasons to dissuade you? OK: They are particularly disturbing when your legs are wanting of a shave. Stuffing your leg hairs into nude pantyhose does not hide the hair. I’ll be blunt, when you are a grown-ass woman, you can’t get away with shaving up to your knees and stopping like you did when you were 15. No. You are hairier now than when you were a teenager. Some of you teenagers are hairier than others, so don’t think because you still have a 1 to the left of your age numbers you get a free ticket.

If you don’t want to commit to shaving the full leg out of laziness, denial, or the belief in some myth that shaving makes your hair grow back thicker and darker (it is already thick and dark enough, believe me and everyone else you’ve stood next to in that outfit on the metro) then please, do yourself a favor and don some colored tights.

That’s all.

Love, Me

not me


6 Comments For This Post

  1. Alexandra Says:

    Good luck on getting that message to them in English 😉

    What about the open backs on dresses and tops? Pretty ugly too in most cases..

  2. Jim Says:

    I thought I would learn a bit about living in Spain….then I saw this particular posting…and, well….are womens’ fashion styles more of a travesty for YOU as opposed to being accepted and OKAY for them? And this issue of shaving….who the freak cares?! Really. Obviously you seem to be bothered by this but why place American values into a society of women who don’t perhaps share your perspective? Why did you leave the US and move to Spain to begin with? If these above issues truly bother you…then either deal with them…or leave….or stop the American sensitivities and expectations. I was going to sign up for your newsletter to get some unbiased information about Spain…but your bias toward women there has colored my perspective toward your site. Sorry. Good luck in your life there!

  3. American expat! Says:

    Oh get over it, Jim. I am just voicing a passing observation of many women (and a few men, though most think that the more objectification, the better) who wonder why some ladies don’t notice that they are showing off their junk in public. And in an intentionally snarky style because it’s funny.

    Think about it this way: I am pretty that if men wore transparent tights instead of trousers, and then failed to wear underwear so you had to see every detail of their penises and every hair, you’d have something to say.

    And FYI I left Spain because my husband died and I couldn’t handle my life anymore, so I ran away. I just happen to still be here, because I’ve been managing to enjoy the life I’ve made for myself very much, thanks.

    Oh!And any information about Spain you find here is going to be very biased – that’s the whole point.

  4. sofia Says:

    I noticed the same fashion in london this past summer. it’s horrendous.

  5. Candice Says:

    Unfortunately nude hose have been back for a while, even in the States, and especially with shorty shorts. It’s also a fashion by some to have the bottom of your butt cheeks hanging out from under said shorty shorts. It’s definitely horrendous but it makes me laugh. My ass hasn’t looked that good in a while 🙂

  6. Patti Says:

    It is very eye-catching to leave out those little puffy cheeks leading to the imagined bum above, and as for donning the pantyhose prior to the short-shorts without having shaved, I’ll just say these girls are either dressing in the dark or are extremely far-sighted and believe the rest of us see the world as they do. Poor things don’t realise they look so, so… careless and lazy. It’s like putting on a garment inside-out and not noticing. It certainly gets me to giggle in amusement!

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